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Unca Fez
Unca Fez
May 23, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Rose of My Life

The rose of my life is fading,
Petal by wilting petal.
As each falls to the ground,
A piece of my life goes with it.
But the ultimate beauty
And glorious fragrance of its bloom
Will live in my heart…
Forever.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is the first poem that I ever wrote. I wrote it in 2017. It was, originally, posted in Candlewitch's space, in 2022. When I wrote this, I was still commuting to work, so I had over an hour each way. I spent several days' commute reworking this one in my head.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Wisconsin, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Candlewitch: I've been reading her poetry for over forty years., Paul Simon: "The Sounds of Silence" got me interested, but "Patterns" and "A Poem On The Underground Wall" really hooked me., Gordon Lightfoot: I acquired his "Sundown" album while in the Navy. "Circle of Steel" resonated with me and I have been an avid fan since.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 years 1 month ago

Neopoet AI

Watch this space! Our AI is thinking of a response. This typically takes up to 10 minutes.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 1 month ago

What a beautiful way...

to describe one's life! At first, I thought it might be about a family member or a friend. Great job, no matter. ~ Geez.
.

Unca Fez

Unca Fez

2 years 1 month ago

Thanks!

When I wrote it, I was thinking of Cat. She is the center of my life.

Thanks for the comment.

Rula

Rula

2 years 1 month ago

Simply

beautiful.
Crisp with an effective metaphore usage.
Well done indeed.

Unca Fez

Unca Fez

2 years 1 month ago

Thank you!

This was written for my wife, Cat (Candlewitch.) At the time, we were both in our late 60's. I'm not sure what got me thinking along these lines, but I do remember worrying at it for several days.

Thanks, again, for the compliment.

Unca Fez

Unca Fez

2 years 1 month ago

Thank you!

This was my first and one of my best, in my opinion. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

2 years 1 month ago

Just beautiful

Almost made me think of Beauty and the Beast. A beautiful way to see life, yours or someone else's. Great job.

Unca Fez

Unca Fez

2 years 1 month ago

Thank you!

I realize that, if one were to dig into the details of their life with someone, there are parts that can be ugly, but, if I look at the entire sweep of the 44 years we've been together, this poem is the result.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Unca Fez

Unca Fez

2 years 1 month ago

Thank you!

Thank you for the compliment. That poem still amazes me. Are software engineers supposed to write like that? The standing joke in college was:

Four years ago, I couldn't spell "enguneer".
Now I are one!

Glad I can, occasionally, prove it wrong.

Seren

Seren

2 years ago

Dear Uncle Fez

Gasp, to be loved like this is the dream of every woman, this is a magnificent poem. SisCat is so lucky to have you!!

Bravo!!

I would NOT change a word.

Hugs Lilbit xxx