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Michael Anthony
Michael Anthony
Jun 12, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 06/09/24 to 06/15/24

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Rose Through the Heart

I remember getting home from Christmas shopping.
I had just bought a lovely sweater for you,
when you called that afternoon and we spoke.
“We should stop seeing each other. It just seems
we don’t fit together all that well.”, you said.

And you were probably right about that.
But I occasionally think about that fucking sweater,
and still wonder if I had bought you the right size.
I’m sure it would have looked nice on you for a while.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

1 year ago

I think...

that you should have kept using [you], instead of reverting to the [her]. I understand the change as representing thinking to yourself, as in after the fact, but I think it works better if you still are speaking to her as "You". I have a rose through a heart tattoo; I'm not sure of what it may represent to you, but I think it may be that the rose is a signifying, that one gives a rose to someone that has a place in your heart. So, yes, the title is apt.~ Geez.
.

Lavender

Lavender

1 year ago

Rose Through The Heart

Can't help but have a bit of a grin with this one - it just feels like you came out the better from it all. (I am going to pretend her name is Rose, simply because that would be so cool.) I enjoyed this, Michael!
Thank you!
L