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Routine
There’s a hushed quality to my life.
A catch in the voice, the radio low.
Logging on before dawn,
tap, tapping things out.
The ghost gums sway
as if danced by the wind.
Nor’easters blow more and more these days.
The birdsong choir a nervous shout.
The shopping mall is preoccupied.
Kids cry on like cathedral bells,
innocence peeled...
but we’re not devout.
Outside young ladies jog on past.
I blindly look having seen too much.
Leotard hips sway like the trees.
I wait for the lights and hang about.
Home again, with films to watch.
A couch potato on the couch.
At one remove live a gangster life.
Click off before the expected rout.
When I slip like a message into bed
my heart lights up like a circus site.
Prismatic, jewelled, it powers up.
Like hands flung wide, I open out.
note 'ghost gums', type of gum tree
'...for the lights' aussie expression used for the walk/don't walk signs at intersections.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Seren
12 years 11 months ago
Dear Ross
I can see you sitting quietly in the early hours of the day taking it all in I really love this poem I find nothing to crit, so I will leave my Kudos, your imagery is sublime btw
There’s a hushed quality to my life.
A catch in the voice, the radio low.
Logging on before dawn,
tap, tapping things out.
The ghost gums sway
as if danced by the wind.
Nor’easters blow more and more these days.
The birdsong choir a nervous shout.
The shopping mall is preoccupied.
Kids cry on like cathedral bells,
innocence peeled...
but we’re not devout.
my favourite stanza's
love n hugs JC xxx
Geremia
12 years 11 months ago
Wonderful imagery..
Wonderful imagery...underlying melancholy that almost sooths. Such control of language!!
Ross Hamilton Hill
12 years 11 months ago
thank you both for your encouragement
especially the love n hugs