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Oct 28, 2013
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Safe Surprise
In this chamber safety
still sleeps
Darkness surrounds me such
sweet relief
Categorized by infinitesimal
proportions
Plagiarized into uncomfortable
contortions
Supporting my belief in
solitude, these walls hold me
Reporting isolation as what my
soul needs
I believe my mind id wandering
far away from home
I believe I shouldn't wait
my soul yearning to roam
My dreams,
Are they dreams?
leave emptiness inside
Ahollow home was made right
before my very eyes
Surprised?
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
11 years 8 months ago
To begin.
I will point out the typographical errors because it's what I do best.
"my mind (is) wandering" and we need space between "a" and "hollow"
Personally I try never to allow anything to leave my influence without it be exactly what I intended. I proofread carefully the smallest of works.
That said, this poem pleased me. I particularly enjoyed the rhyme scheme.