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Oct 26, 2017
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Sailing
the call for peace swept beneath my feet
fantasy is the best of me & I'm sailing
set out on your trip out on the barren sea
birds over head flock to the duration of your ride
you see painted faces in the sky
visions of twilight the moments you dreamed of kings and queens
shaped through the very fabric of the figment of your imagination
soon I will be free from all of the whole host of mockery
you squeeze your lovers hand as you skirt out to the vast expanse
breathless
in your thoughts of twilight
escape through the breeze as a mist
we can meet at such a place
let your heart permeate a good reason of belonging
a chance at a following through
times of warm embrace shootinf from outer space
love is the essence of our inner existence learn to shun its resistance
sailing in the warm charted course
no sense of remorse
love
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eumolpus
7 years 8 months ago
very nice poem
I have sailed often enough, and you have nicely captured it. A very hard feeling to capture without being cliche or zenny (ie to do with Zen). (gotta typo- "shooting" ) Congrats on this fine work.
I have to tell you I tried in vain again last week with John Ashbury-a favorite of yours. I found "the stars we shinning" I hated, hated it. You are a much better poet that he is. He was so phony, so abstract, so pretentious...You gotta tell me what I'm missing. Tell me a few poems you like.
chevyvent
7 years 8 months ago
Two Other Fine Poets
Louise Gluck & Major Jackson excellent in variety with their poetry that I both admire and respect.
I agree Ashbury had a different approach to his writings no doubt.
lonlyhrtsclub13
7 years 8 months ago
This is
A lovely poem. It flows well and leaves a calming, peaceful feeling. Almost makes you feel like you are floating along with the writer.
Marvel Godwyn
7 years 8 months ago
I so much cherish this line
I so much cherish this line "love is the essence of our inner existence... " thanks for sharing, Chevyvent. I enjoyed my reading this piece.
IRiz
6 years 8 months ago
thank you for a great escape-poem.
did you mean "painted faces in the sky"
or "faces painted in the sky"?
lover's hand?
nice line "escape through the breeze as a mist"
shootinf typo?
Sailing with you, Irene