The Pandemic

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Sands of time (august contest)

We’re two demons dancing through The desert of despair laughing without a care as the sands of time slowly blows away with the air. Oh No I now Know it’s time to go so we kiss and cry as it is time to sway to the song of sorrow .for I will no longer live for tomorrow. So I cry and wave goodbye as I take my last breath exhaling the Bright fiery flamboyant flames of life and drink the cold lonesome empty mysterious macabre mist of death that.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Here

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde , William Wordsworth

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Gracy

4 years 10 months ago

Hi Edward, I like your stream

Hi Edward, I like your stream of consciousness poem. It has internal rhymes and the imagery is fine, as is the title. I wonder why you choose to compose a prose poem, when you have all the features of a sonnet or some other form?
I guess you prefer prose poetry. Enjoyed, Gracy

Edward nigma

4 years 10 months ago

I watch and listen I usually

I watch and listen I usually get these thoughts in my head sometimes it’s inconsistent because of adhd but I always try and I might succeed I might not but at least I have a chance.

raj

4 years 10 months ago

Hi Edward

I agree with Gracy's comment....try put it in verse format...i think you deliberately left the last line after "that" i believe being the last word of life of the subject ...

Important...since you are submitting this for the ongoing contest,,,please add "(August Contest)" after the title...

best wishes for the contest..