Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

I
IKnowNoBox
May 11, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sarcastically Miserable ( A dirge to trite angst)

Woe is me oh
I am a torn soul
torn Torn
between two worlds’

One black
one gray
woe is me
a candle
A candle
in a storm
never enough light
to see the ground
upon which
are pieces of me.

Shattered, I am shattered
and I can not embrace
life or anything new
for my hands are, are torn,
torn and filled with
the jagged pieces of me.

Adrift, I am adrift
through life
an empty vessel
that longs only to be
filled with melancholy.

A draft haunts me
I am haunted
By a draft that
will not leave my candle
burn in my Dark corridor
with gray walls
where I lay in lament.

Surrounded by the
many pieces of me

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 2 months ago

self pity

I now you are in pain but look to the best that can come from it.

I

IKnowNoBox

11 years 2 months ago

This was fueled by

my Goth site which was for a while full of Emo teens slinging around suicidal innuendos, and building mood swing sets left, and right. While I am for healthy grieving. I refuse to join a persons pity party, or climb doww into their pity pit.. though I will lower a rope. I will also help a person build a bridge to get over it. It is just to uncommon these days to see people online (facebook) phish for sympathy thru trite pleas of angst. Sadly this makes otherwise empathic people apathetic.
In ink,
David

Seren

Seren

11 years 1 month ago

David

I thought this was brilliant...I cant see anything I could suggest to improve it, its tight...Well done.

love Jayne x

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 1 month ago

Try this, just a suggestion-

Sarcastically Miserable ( A dirge to trite angst)
 

Woe is me oh
I am a torn soul
torn Torn
between two worlds’


One black
one gray
woe is me
a candle
A candle
in a storm
never enough light
to see the ground
upon which
are pieces of me.


Shattered, I am shattered
and I can not embrace
life or anything new
for my hands are, are torn,
torn and filled with
the jagged pieces of me.


Adrift, I am adrift
through life
an empty vessel
that longs only to be
filled with melancholy.


A draft haunts me
I am haunted
By a hraft that
will not leave my candle
burn in my Dark corridor
with gray walls
where I lay in lament.


Surrounded by the
many pieces of me

 

I

IKnowNoBox

11 years 1 month ago

Done

Thanks, I barely see the difference between the two, but I didn't put them side to side.

In ink,
David