satori

when mind overflows
and being is exhausted
endless emptiness

mental upheaval
intuitive new insight
awakens essence

as water to ice
sweeps into textual change
altered awareness

exultation, rest
touching the destination
momentarily

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

Bryan

13 years 1 month ago

insightful

I like the poem. Would enjoy seeing your take on aware.

the first crocus

piercing winters blanket

brings satori

judyanne

13 years 1 month ago

thank you bryan

i have swapped the first two around - i think it flows a bit better

i love yours

and - lol - i'll ponder 'aware' :)
love judy
xxx

judyanne

13 years 1 month ago

hi again brian

done my thinking - and i think i agee with jess
using the word kills it a little imho
xxx - just me though

perhaps something like
'a bulb of new light' ??

love judy
xxx

weirdelf

13 years 1 month ago

bryan, on your 'aware'

brings satori feels a bit heavy handed.
Perhaps
illuminates
or
all is clear

weirdelf

13 years 1 month ago

oh, so cool, our lady of words

only the line
reaches sudden freezing point
feels a bit clunky, both in structure and meaning, the state change is almost never sudden, even though the temperature is critical, sudden. Perhaps
critical state change
?