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Oct 29, 2011
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Savage
Would you notice if I disappeared?
To you I’m an infinitesimal dot
On the page, but hidden from sight
Did you ever really see me there?
Did your brain ever really compute
And work out if I had a name
I know I exist that’s the twist
I’m still here
Yet pain slashes and plunges deep
Burning
The wound engulfs my brain
You don’t need me
You don’t want me
That’s clear and plain
Would you notice if I disappeared?
To you I’m an infinitesimal dot
On the page, but hidden from sight
I look into your face
Your eyes are blank
I’m not in there
Amongst your disdain
You’re blind to my needs and feelings
I burn as you torch my senses
You aim and shoot me down in flames…
…as I look into your savage face
But you don’t need me
You don’t want me.
© 2011 McWhorter Productions
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This one was contributed to by Dan (Hooded Stranger)
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lou
13 years 8 months ago
Xena
Thank you , but the idea was not to formal the poem conventionally, but I appreciate your help.
I'm glad that you liked it.
Lou
Candlewitch
13 years 8 months ago
Dear Lou,
I like the irregularity of the layout. It makes it feel painful and a little disjointed. Great theme.
Amongst your disdain
You’re blind to my needs and feelings
I burn as you torch my senses
You aim and shoot me down in flames…
Love, Cat
lou
13 years 8 months ago
thanks
i'm so pleased you liked it.
Lou