SAVE THE NATIONS

Hold your soldiers,
hold your thugs,
hold your fire
against the people.
The nations are thirsty
for peace and unity.

Stand together,
stand for all,
stand to build all in one.
the future is crying,
the future is scary.
but the nature has it's laws,
nature justifies.

I hear a child cries,
for his parents are no more.
take the baby
give him life.
For him the nations are ours.
Our nations, our prides,
We must save the nations.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The issue of crisis in every nation now is becoming a big one that nobody is save, Is our duty to prevent and protect everone. Sometimes I imaging how our so leader sleeping with their eyes close, while the Masses suffers.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , abuja

Favorite Poets: Any good poet of my likening

Comments

Eumolpus

6 years 10 months ago

a powerful stance

To address all the nations, as a universal plea, (and indeed today almost all nations are blind to genocide, and torture. To make the poem immediately more universal make the nation plural, as nations. Here's a few tweaks...

Save the Nations

Hold your soldiers,
hold your thugs,
hold your fire
against the people.
The people are thirsty
for peace and unity.

Stand together,
stand for all,
stand to build all in one.
the future is crying,
the future is scary.
but nature has its laws,
nature justifies.

I hear a child cries,
for his parents are no more.
Take the baby
give him life.
For him the nations our ours.
We must save the nations.

Hope you find these suggestions helpful.

Simon

6 years 10 months ago

Hi Eumolpus,

Wow, you blow my mind i thought I didn't lost something very important like this, thanks for your suggestion and for getting my attention to that.