Scars Like Stars To Guide Us

What if these regrets
Were not quicksand
But stepping stones?

The up instead of down
Button in the elevator?

What if this pain
Was not collateral damage,
But the strategy
For my success?

What if these scars
Were the writing on the wall,
That spoke a better word
Than “mene, mene, tekel, parsin”?

What if I was not found lacking
But instead strong?

What if I grew stronger and stronger
Instead of weaker and weaker?

What if these disappointments
Weren’t vampires
But a blood transfusion?

Directions on a treasure map,
Life-giving lessons,
Though the hurt
Is all too real?

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

raj

7 years 1 month ago

Hi Greg

please treat this as my attempt to objectively critique your poem....

if the title was just "Scars as Stars" it would have hidden the content better,,,but by adding "to guide us" it becomes like the nutrition label on food packs telling what is inside.....so in my opinion keeping it just as Scars as Stars there would be better buy in
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