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Jun 22, 2025
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The Scent of Cinnamon
Everything felt normal
last night.
This morning I awoke
to the scent of cinnamon
you are preparing to
teach me to bake jam cakes.
The smell of cinnamon
makes me feel sad.
I don’t know why.
We are having fun baking
and dancing
to the new Beach Boys song,
Surfer Girl.
The news comes across the TV
with word of the assassination
of President John F. Kennedy.
I felt like I had been dreaming
in 1963.
I live in a world your hands
have helped form,
and I will stop the panic when
I can’t remember the pitch
of your voice
or the curve of your jawline.
I have come back to where
my dream ended
and decide to bake a jam cake
just like you taught me years ago.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores memory, loss, and the persistence of sensory experience. The structure is free verse, with short lines that create a sense of fragmentation and immediacy, mirroring the emotional disorientation described. The use of the scent of cinnamon as a recurring motif is effective in anchoring the poem’s emotional core and connecting the present to the past.
The temporal shifts are handled with clarity, moving from the present moment to a specific memory in 1963, then returning to the present. The reference to the assassination of President Kennedy situates the memory in a historical context, lending it both personal and collective resonance. The juxtaposition of mundane domestic activity (baking, dancing) with a national tragedy heightens the sense of innocence lost.
The poem’s emotional arc is subtle. The speaker’s sadness at the scent of cinnamon is left unexplained, which allows the reader to infer the depth of loss and nostalgia. The lines “I live in a world your hands / have helped form” and “I will stop the panic when / I can’t remember the pitch / of your voice / or the curve of your jawline” are particularly evocative, capturing the anxiety of forgetting and the desire to hold onto memory.
Some lines could benefit from greater specificity or compression. For example, “We are having fun baking / and dancing / to the new Beach Boys song, / Surfer Girl” is direct but could be more vivid with sensory detail or figurative language. The poem’s conclusion, with the act of baking as a form of remembrance, is understated and effective, but the phrase “just like you taught me years ago” is somewhat prosaic compared to earlier lines.
Overall, the poem’s strengths lie in its use of sensory detail, its handling of time, and its understated emotional resonance. Consider tightening some of the more expository lines and further developing the imagery to deepen the impact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
3 months ago
I'm thinking...
Your title is good, I like that you have tied the scent of cinnamon
to a specific memory.
Language use is good, plain and straight-forward.
The rhythm is unhurried, but moves right along.
I like the theme, it makes a part of history the reason for remembering a cherished moment.
I'm a bit confused about the lines:
"and I will stop the panic when
I can't remember the pitch
of your voice
or the curve of your jawline".
~ Geezer.
.