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This poem is part of the workshop:

Primal Poetry

(Read More...)

The Scream Continues

Floating above the darkness
Watching from the highest plane
Tree branches that turn to hands
Crooked fingers digging in
Blood dripping, dragging me under

Fighting, screaming, intertwined
The flames of love and hate burning my skin
The devil I know
Is safer than the one I don't
Our flesh combined, turns to dust

Raw and familiar
Will the pain ever end
The pounding, the shouting
My mind whirls
For Christ sake, just leave me here

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, Jim Morrison, Rudyard Kipling, Hermann Hesse, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Jack London, Stephen King, there are many more....

More from this author

Comments

S

scribbler

5 years 12 months ago

Hi there

This kinda Does remind me of that painting "The Scream". During times of stress it's often a good thing to let it out before it rots the spirit from the inside. For some strange reason I think next to last line would read better if you said " My mind whirls"...........maybe because whirl give a more chaotic feel?....stan

lonlyhrtsclub13

lonlyhrtsclub13

5 years 12 months ago

Thank you

For your insight. I like 'whirls' much better than spinning. It gives a twister effect which plays into the chaotic feel of the vision. Thank you!!!

lonlyhrtsclub13

lonlyhrtsclub13

5 years 11 months ago

Thank you

Your praise means everything. I am just thrilled with this workshop and look forward to exploring the others you recently listed. Hopefully I will be able to visit some nicer places.