Rula

May 25, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Searching for an Inventive Poem

I searched for a poem
in the rising sun, in
the absent moon, in
the darkness of nights,
and high-lighted noon,

in the shops and the streets,
in green medows and weeds,

I searched in the broken shells
and the empty shores, in the
unbeatable forts and
and broken walls.

I searched under the rainbows,
among the clouds,
in the far horizon
where the ocean and the sky bound.

I searched for a poem
And here it's found

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Gracy

5 years 1 month ago

You got yourself a lovely

You got yourself a lovely poem, I enjoyed it thoroughly. My only crit is that it needs tightening up. As in the lines below:

in (the) shops and (the) streets,
in (the) green medows and weeds,

There are far too many "the"s and some other words that could be removed. The title is fine, the whole poem makes sense, I have nothing else to suggest. Good one!

Rula

5 years 1 month ago

Gracy dear

Your kind suggestion is highly valued.
Many thanks.

Rula

5 years 1 month ago

Teddy dear

So many thanks for enjoying reading my humble piece.
Can't thank you enough for your kind words.

Rula

5 years 1 month ago

Dear Mark

Always feel flattered when you read my poems.
I edited as you suggested as I really like it.
Highly appreciated.

Rula

5 years 1 month ago

Dear Jerry

I tried my best not to ruin it. I appreciate a second read after doing the weed...lol
Thank you!

Lavender

5 years 1 month ago

Inventive Poem

Hi, Rula,
Sometimes I get "that" feeling when reading a poem - I don't even know the word to describe it, but it's an amazing connection with the very essence of poetry. This poem does that for me. "I searched in the broken shells, in the empty shores." So good...
Thank you!
L

Rula

5 years 1 month ago

Lavender my dear

Thank you so much for your kindest words.
Enjoying my poem is the most that might flatter a humble poet like me.