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Aug 20, 2022
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Secrets
Makeshift walls
Built around the concrete slabs of my mind
Hands tied by hope
Choking on all the lies
Mother said it was for the best
If we don't talk about her; she didn't exist
Brother stayed their favorite; everyone loved him so
If they only knew what I know....
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 10 months ago
dear Carrie,
secrets indeed! and the reason they remain hushed up is deplorable! why are we not allowed to speak these truths?
*hugs, Cat
RoseBlack
2 years 10 months ago
Hi Cat
You would think after having a wonderful upbringing with two parents who love me very much, I would not have any difficult feelings towards the one who gave me up and how she hid me and my one brother tried to keep me hidden. All because of secrets. Secrets destroy no matter how old you are or how you were raised. :(
Depressed 1
2 years 10 months ago
Good Write
I really liked this one. Secrets hurt hundreds of times more than the truth.
RoseBlack
2 years 10 months ago
Absolutely
And to find out that you are one of the biggest secrets of all is absolutely mind blowing.
Geezer
2 years 10 months ago
What makes this better...
is that I know the story! I am impressed with what you did in only eight lines!
Very nice, this may be my all-time favorite of yours! ~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 10 months ago
Thanks Gee!
For the high praise. I am starting to learn that less is more :)
Jackweb
2 years 10 months ago
Excellent !
My favourite lines:
Makeshift walls
Built around the concrete slabs of my mind
Hands tied by hope
Choking on all the lies
Very beautiful! With the splendor of creativity.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 10 months ago
Thanks Jack
Glad you enjoyed