serenity

in the midst of morning mist
when shrubs, their petalled branches,
usher towards the sky
and trampled grass, though muted,
utterly refuse to die
where trees, in their devoir,
shadows cast that lull
and heaven, through woolly clouds,
the sun allows to shine,
i sense the heave of tired tides
invade the slumber of the day
till wearily the cumbered mass
retire to the borders of the sway
where wings inexhaustibly wave
at wooded lands and plains,
an eagle majestically climbs
the afternoon to prey

in the midst of all this bliss i'll stay
and lounge my days away
i'll hear my children chime
and their songs without a rhyme
i'll witness their naivety
and savor their piety
i want to hear
the nonsense...they utter in my ear

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northern Cape, South Africa

Favorite Poets: Phillis Wheatley

Comments

Rula

12 years 2 months ago

wonderful images

Can't choose a fav. line as i really like it all but if I were you , I would be more than satisfied with the first stanza
I've muchly enjoyed reading you mister N.

I forgot to say i really liked the internal rhymes and the alliteration

Roscoe Lane

12 years 2 months ago

Sounds,

Sounds idyllic i could sit there with you, Regards Roscoe...PS a heartfelt welcome to Neopoet.

nokros

12 years 2 months ago

thnx

for reading Rula - appreciate your insight. Let's roll Roscoe - thnx for the welcome.

themoonman

12 years 2 months ago

Welcome back,

I remember you from the pre-crash days.
I like your poem, a serene time for sure.
Second line; when shrubs their pleated branches

when you read this aloud, don't you pause after
"shrubs", it is a natural pause but not indicated.

I personally would change much of this but, would
it improve the poem or just spin my own thoughts in?
I do think some work could be done on the natural
meter or flow but ... it does work as is.

and savior their piety; found that so very interesting,
thought at first you'd misused a word "savor" but, I
believe you've written what you intended.

thank you for posting, enjoyed the read,

Richard

nokros

12 years 2 months ago

thnx Moonman

for stopping by - you're right - should read "savor"