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Rett
Rett
Feb 02, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Seven Moons of Shaldimoor

Seven Moons of Shaldimoor

She stands overlooking the valley
Where the river winds along the floor
Below the great Fountain of Rainbows
That have been the pride of Shaldimoor

Far up the Pinnacle of Heaven
Rise the high Towers of Tomorrow
Looking down upon the lush valley
At the great river known as Sorrow

A breeze is blowing lightly southward
As the fountain flows toward the valley floor
She stands there, her eyes filled with wonder
Beneath the seven moons of Shaldimoor

The day will bring many changes
As she enters the crystal door
Atop the Towers of Tomorrow
Beneath the seven moons of Shaldimoor

Gone forever the innocence of youth
Flitting about on butterfly wings
Now begins the time of change
Inside her, the lifeblood sings

Within the Towers of Tomorrow
By the next conjunction she will soar
Shedding butterfly wings for gossamer
To soar 'neath the seven moons of Shaldimoor

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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More from this author

Comments

Psyve

Psyve

14 years 5 months ago

Rett

This had a truly Classic feel to it, particularly from a meter point of view... very cleanly rhythmic, ala "The Highwayman".

Also a science fiction touch ... I visualise the seven moons of Shaldimoor hanging in an orange sky, like a landscape from some sci-fi fantasy.

Good work.

Psyve

Rett

Rett

14 years 5 months ago

I can't remember

exactly where I ran across it, but it was inspired by an alienscape I saw on the web.

K

Kailashana2

14 years 5 months ago

However, you need to spell

However, you need to spell the title correctly. ;-)

Perhaps a few minor changes to improve the poetic quality?

Signed, one of the 7 moons.

~A

Rett

Rett

14 years 5 months ago

LOL Anna

Will try to make the correction.

Rett

Rett

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks so much

Great suggestions! I appreciate it! Will be working on it!

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

14 years 4 months ago

Dear Rett,

My favorite lines (which were hard to choose becase there were so many of them)

Gone forever the innocence of youth
Flitting about on butterfly wings
Now begins the time of change
Inside her, the lifeblood sings

The whole poem reads beautifully and effortlessly. I think this would be a fantastic introduction to a short story or even a novel. I have no suggestions, only appreciation for the work done.

always, Cat

Rett

Rett

14 years 4 months ago

Thanks Cat

Believe it or not, this is on my agenda for a short story or novel. I haven't found an agent for my "Man Who Cheated Death" yet, but am still trying. I am working on a sequel to that one called "Escape From Tyranny", also working on one called "Shra-Ka-Reen" from an epic poem I wrote, been mapping out a story from my "Shattered Crystal" series of poems and have this one on my agenda also. LOL Damn, but retirement is hell!