Sharing Pieces

I was so scared
to give you a piece of myself

I didn't know what you would do with it.

would you use it?
steal it?
hurt it?

would I be left hollow
and unfulfilled?

you took me by surprise

you cherished
cared for it
housed it
watered it

in the end,
you still kept it for yourself

but you filled the empty space inside me
with a piece of you

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Georgia, USA

Favorite Poets: Lord Alfred Tennyson, Robert Frost, Allen Ginsberg, Walt Whitman , Misha Collins, John Donne

Comments

neopoet

5 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively conveys the vulnerability and fear associated with sharing a part of oneself with another person. The use of imagery like "housed it" and "watered it" creates a vivid picture of how the other person cared for the shared piece. The contrast between the initial apprehension and the eventual feeling of fulfillment is well-captured. One suggestion for improvement could be to explore the emotions and thoughts of the speaker in more depth to enhance the reader's connection to the narrative. Additionally, considering varying the structure or adding more descriptive language could further enrich the poem's impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Ruby Lord

5 months 3 weeks ago

This is so good. I am

This is so good. I am impressed by the way you revealed yourself in your initial weakness in words. It's almost like a prayer. Marvellous. Ruby xxx :)