Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Geremia

Apr 19, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

SHATTERED HEART

SHATTERED HEART

A sudden gust
of Winter wind
icy cold
took my breath away.
and my heart began to shatter
with each lie
your caress told.

I felt the sting of your
loveless kiss.
its poison seized
my soul.
and I was forever lost
to this world.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Comments

13 years 2 months ago

I see an attempt at Japanese profundity

but the logic doesn't work.

Why the fuck should you burn?
Saying the wind took your words away is un-accountable.

13 years 2 months ago

P.S.

P.S.

I need time t w rk on this. I see where yu are right.

Joe
p.s.

And drop that "Japaese profundity" crap.

13 years 2 months ago

No such attempt. I did have a

No such attempt. I did have a Toyota once. .All metaphor:

You sddenly came ino my lfe lke a cold wniter wnd [aready a negaive
you reached me deep inside
and now I suffer for it [fires of Hell]

It's all about being "dumped"

thanks

joe

13 years 2 months ago

I don't treat you differently because of yout 'condition'

You are sometimes fucking brilliant, sometimes pathetic.

Alllow me to treat you as a poet, not a special case. You have talent way beyond the poets in this site.

13 years 2 months ago

Jess,I never expected

Jess,I never expected anything less from oyu but t ruth. And I appreciate it. You ae right here. and I need to unpublish this one and work on it. It is insipid.

Thanks,

Joe

13 years 2 months ago

Don'''''t fucking unpublish it! Work on it!

Despite my harnose, smoetimes cray, belligeret tineas at tinem I kne you knod ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' fs

My neice tried to burb=n doen a ooem of hersm I redcurf it snf uut zxxx z

Sometimes nonesence is brilliant. Run awat from those horible peopole whi li,if

13 years 2 months ago

I decided not to unpublidih

I decided not to unpublidih and did, in fact, re-write it.

Joe

13 years 2 months ago

Courage.

My utmost respect.

13 years 2 months ago

Same here, my friend.

Same here, my friend.

K

13 years 2 months ago

Sometimes a line is better in

Sometimes a line is better in the title than in the poem itself, Joe.

I would call the poem: "forever lost to this world" and let the last line be "your poison seized then froze my soul" or something of that nature.

~A

13 years 2 months ago

ok

ok