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Nov 30, 2017
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SHEEP CLOTHING
Since shepherds had turned wolves,
devouring they own sheep,
then I better remain a sheep of myself.
Since the truth has been enslaved,
And the apron of Christianity is now a commodity
Juicing tasty venoms for the souls
I rather become a sheep of myself
It’s the eye we see,
The mind is hidden
tell the deer to run while the lion is asleep
Before the grave yawns hungrily
Sheepishly they accept the faith
The quest for miracles and signs
A prophecy long foretold.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
7 years 7 months ago
I must be...
missing something. I just don't get the reference "A sheep of myself."
~ Geezer.
.
Eumolpus
7 years 7 months ago
your poem
To me this is a very unique and beautiful poem
It’s the eye we see,
The mind is hidden
tell the deer to run while the lion is asleep
Before the grave yawns hungrily
Sheepishly they accept the faith
The quest for miracles and signs
A prophecy long foretold.
I am not getting the idea of the sheep, that the shepherds (caretakers) have become wolves and that you chose to be a sheep...not clear why? I don't totally grasp the inference of the church. However, looking at the 3rd stanza, it is quite a poem, complete and thought evoking.
Just my take...
Chiori
7 years 7 months ago
nowadays churches are more
nowadays churches are more like a profit-making organization, here in Nigeria, they tell you different thing within the church and you see them do different thing outside the church.
I have witnessed some occasions where some men suddenly became mad, beating the ground as if something is going to come out of it when I asked, someone, told me there were just following the command of the so-called man of God. this insanity has become so rampant in Africa and urgent action needs to be taken.
the sheep are the people who are being misled by their trusted shepherds on the platform of Christianity
Marvel Godwyn
7 years 7 months ago
Nice poem, wonderful
Nice poem, wonderful observation Chiori.Your observation may be correct though, but definitely not all churches are guilty of your charges.Thanks for sharing Chiori.
Betrand Ndomenang
7 years 5 months ago
Reply...
The poem shows in dept understanding of a specific sensitive context but some things are not easily understood just by ready. Probably should think of expatiating on them