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She's An Animal... [Neopoet Random Challenge #7]
She was such an animal
She took away my heart
She ate it up with relish
She had me from the start
Eyes of brown and curly-haired
Snuggles every night
She kissed me with abandon
Everything I did was right
We swam in the lake and partied
I held her, oh so close
Breakfast every morning
We ate berry-jam on toast
One day she up and left me
I was stunned beyond belief
I remember quite distinctly
My heart was full of grief
My "Baby" was my Shepard-dog
I grieved so hard and long
People said; "But, she's just an animal"
And I say that they were wrong
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Ray Whitaker
3 years 9 months ago
wow.. hit home to me
at first I didn't realize that this was your dog
Shepards are soo much empaths
I am laid low when I lose one
seems like a part of myself goes away with the loss
have had Shepards for 30+ years
meter and rhythm so well done
Geezer
3 years 9 months ago
Thank you...
I am no longer able to keep a dog of any kind, since I rent and the landlord [nice guy otherwise] prohibits dogs.
Most of the dogs I had, were of Shepard-mix. "Baby" was the only purebred Shepard I've had. My first wife and I got her as the "runt" of the litter that no one wanted, right after we got married. She was my best fishing buddy. I worked nights so it was easy to have lots of day-light time with her. The three of us went fishing a lot and she was of great help [which included putting the fish back in the water, when we weren't looking!] LoL Thanks for your comments. ~ Geez.
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Geezer
3 years 9 months ago
Thank you...
for the praise. I love it! LoL
~ Geez.
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Obadiah Grey
3 years 9 months ago
Loved the twist, didn't see
Loved the twist, didn't see that one coming.
The final stanza transformed the previous four and gave them purchase.
Obi.
Geezer
3 years 9 months ago
Glad that...
the twist was unseen. Thanks, ~ Geez.
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Jackweb
3 years 9 months ago
what a beautiful drop...
A quatrain in poetry cements the pacing.
Rhythmic and condensed.
Always the master at all times
Bravo!