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Jul 27, 2022
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Sick Again... Round Robin Finale
And so, with pounding head and aching eyes
I dragged myself back to bed
Only to be awoken by the family dog
As everyone else had abandonded me
to my well-deserved misery, I got up
After his morning defecation...
I couldn't look, let alone pick it up
I had to brave the smell of a freshly opened can
of horse-meat [that he found perfectly acceptable]
He washed his face and my bare feet with a drink
When he tried to thank me with kisses
I left an offering in front of the porcelain-god
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I liked the challenge of having to think hard about how to get everything i wanted to say, into these twelve lines. I've enjoyed this whole thing greatly. ~ Geez. .
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Obadiah Grey
2 years 11 months ago
Irony rules the roost in my
Irony rules the roost in my estimation
and the cock has crowed!
Obi.
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
Thanks...
I felt that the porcelain-god deserved a little worship. My penance for the celebration with Bacchus. ~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
Awesome ending
This was a great challenge! Well done
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
Thank you...
I think maybe another one? Then we can think about opening a workshop; so that we may invite a few more people; and we won't have to give up our poem of the day!
~ Geez.
.
RoseBlack
2 years 11 months ago
I like the
Homage to the porcelain God and the idea of a workshop. Count me in
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
dear Geez,
I've bowed down to the porcelain God many a time in my younger years, too. now I cannot drink even one bottle...no tolerance any more. you finished off this round robin with flare!
*hugs, Cat
Geezer
2 years 11 months ago
Thank you...
Maybe we should do another round? Then we can think about doing a workshop! Inviting more people, [not many more] and we won't have to give up our daily poem! What do you think? ~ Geez.
.
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
:)
I'm up for it!
*hugs, Cat
(ever, eddy)
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Well played
Pretty successful round. I could get into a workshop. I wrote a few trying to get this one started. I’m terrible at not completing a thought. The third attempt was the only one that seemed ambiguous enough to be continued. So…I’ve got one lined up for the stream tonight, Cat says I’m a romantic and likes when I “talk dirty”…
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
and eddy thinks...
that you are sassy and bright (with a dark streak;)
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Interesting
He does have me singing about vehicular homicide during my daily guitar practice.
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
No I think it was great
Your section was almost a word for word recitation of my inner monologue. The feeling of knowing you’re stopping at the store for beers after work. You really captured that romance I invented around alcohol. I was never physically addicted to alcohol I was attached to a symbol I created. Something I don’t need any longer.
Tim