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Oct 14, 2013
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Silent Warrior.
Dry are the tears that are never shed,Rolling down in silence along the golden thread. They are the warriors whose stories are never told,Born amidst the torments with nothing to hold. Fighting constantly to hold the mask and never to reveal,The battle to defeat the pain and conquer Achilles' heel. The cries of the heart are masked by the eyes that run dry,Smiling through the emptiness, letting only a bit of honesty to pass by.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
non sequitur
11 years 12 months ago
Hello there!
I liked this theme a lot and thought it well executed. I'm afraid there's too many cliches in the 3rd verse and that waters down the point you wish to make. Also in the last line, try to find a shorter expression for "to pass by"... Maybe 'slip through' or escape... Which is more the idea I think you're trying to convey.
Good title!
Regards
NS