Sing!

You know there are times we all need to share,
when painful memories leave us in despair.
To work through the past is the hardest thing,
while old thoughts of hurt continue to sting.

It’s in times like those we need to be shown,
the way it should go when we feel so alone.
From some simple song we sing all day long,
we can find common troubles where we belong.

When all the world's suffering is enough,
and we write it down when things get really rough.
When every word finally makes sense,
it’s always best to have songs as our defense.

The kick in the line you know that finally gets to you,
It feels so good now to hurt, and to feel so blue.
You’re singing the blues you always had,
It’s good to be sad and feel so bad.

Now let all those feelings inside you flow,
Let them grow and become a brand new show.
You want to write them all down for a sound,
And share it with the world all around.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA the bay state, United Kingdom, Australia, South Africa, Nigeria, Canada, Europe, USA

Favorite Poets: Dylon, George Harrison, Leonard Cohen, Jess, Rett, Black Mountain Gang

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

neopoet

1 month 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem addresses the therapeutic power of music and songwriting in coping with emotional pain. The structure is consistent, with rhymed couplets lending a sense of cohesion and accessibility. The poem’s diction is straightforward and conversational, which makes the message clear and relatable.

Thematically, the poem explores the transformation of suffering into creative expression. The progression moves from personal pain (“painful memories leave us in despair”) to communal experience (“we can find common troubles where we belong”), and finally to the act of sharing (“share it with the world all around”). This arc effectively mirrors the process of catharsis and connection through art.

However, the poem’s language tends toward generalities and familiar phrases (“painful memories,” “feel so alone,” “singing the blues”), which can limit the emotional impact. More specific imagery or concrete details could deepen the reader’s engagement and distinguish the poem from others on similar themes. For example, instead of “old thoughts of hurt continue to sting,” a more vivid metaphor or sensory detail might evoke the feeling more powerfully.

The rhyme scheme is consistent but sometimes results in forced or predictable phrasing (“It’s good to be sad and feel so bad”). Consider experimenting with enjambment or slant rhyme to create more dynamic movement and avoid sing-song predictability.

The poem’s final stanza encourages creative expression as a communal act, but the language (“write them all down for a sound”) is somewhat abstract. Clarifying what “a sound” refers to, or providing an example, could strengthen the conclusion.

Overall, the poem communicates its message clearly but would benefit from more original language, concrete imagery, and varied musicality in its lines.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

1 month 2 weeks ago

It seems...

that the A.I. has this one pegged. Maybe we are teaching our A.I. how to "feel"? I do notice some refinement in the way it approaches some works. Hmmmm. ~ Geez.