Geezer

Apr 27, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the challenge:

02/25 Blind Date

(Read More...)

Sing To My Heart...

Filthy backstreet alleys, filled with trash and dirt
He wanders without purpose, his heart heavy with its hurt
She left him torn and broken, threw him to the side
Now, he stumbles through today, he needs a place to hide

He hears a low voice singing,
stops to listen at the door
Through a crack in the doorjamb,
he sees her mopping floors

He recognizes lonely, when he hears it sung
Hears the sadness singing, trapped there on her tongue
He can't keep himself from crying, his voice steps up and sings
She listens for a moment, then her heart grows wings

Their voices twine together
making music cry
He hardly believes the magic
there are teardrops in her eyes

She drops her mop and trembles, filled with the old pain
He leaves before she looks for him, silent once again

Every day, he sings with her
at the sadness place
He knows that she can't love him
and he must leave no trace

His heart was wounded in love once, after the accident
She ceased to look at him that way, he was scarred and bent
Now, he can't take the chance, that this one will leave him too
But this singer only hears his beauty, sings "I'm in love with you"

He told her that she mustn't
he was uglier than sin
she told him she was blind
and his songs had helped him win

She said his face; it didn't matter, he said, he felt that he was stealing
she touched him and his body, and his heart was filled with healing

Now, they sing together every day
she walks with confidence again.
He holds her hand and her heart
and she takes away his pain.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This started out much different, but as it progressed, I went back and changed things I didn't like, and it became this. This is an edited poem, that I just thought was perfect for this contest. --- 2/8/25

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

dear Geezer,

S5 L1: He can't help himself from crying (instead of "help" maybe use the word: "keep"?)really good title. excellent flow, very smooth. my favorite lines are:

Now, they sing together everyday
she walks with confidence again
He holds her hand and her heart
and she takes away his pain

*hugs, Cat

p.s.
it is great to see this side of you!

Geezer

3 years 2 months ago

Yes...

I like your word better, thank you. This is a side of me, that begs to be let out now and then. Killer and Sir Gee, keep him chained up in the dungeon most of the time. Yes, Sir Gee has his dark side too! I find that it really helps to listen to music while I work. It doesn't always happen and sometimes it takes a while for the mood to set in, but I find it very useful!
[The boys are hiding from your praise of their kin.] Big hugs, Geez.
.

Ray Whitaker

3 years 1 month ago

Wow!

what a great piece. rhythm, rhyme, meaning... wow!

Geezer

3 years 1 month ago

Thank you Ray...

I really enjoyed writing this one, as I said to another, it started very different and morphed into this! Sometimes, a piece gets away from me, and goes off on its' own. I'm glad that I let this one have its' head. ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

3 years 1 month ago

dear Geezer,

She said his face didn't matter
he told her felt that he was stealing
She touched him and his body
and his heart was filled with healing

the second line feels off.

I noticed on this reading, that this reminds me of "Phantom of the Opera" the film that listed (Gerard Butler) his voice and passion are fantastic!

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

2 years 6 months ago

Thank you...

I've noticed too and am working on it. I think I've got it now! ~ Geez.
.

lovedly

2 years 6 months ago

Gee

everyday
could be spliced
I feel.

I posted a western poem
you have yet to see
don't be displeased

Geezer

2 years 6 months ago

Thank you lovedly...

you are right! ~ Geez.
.

Geezer

2 years 6 months ago

Redundant?...

filthy backstreet alleys
filled with trash and dirt

filthy - mucky, muddy, to an extreme and often disgusting extent.

trash - discarded matter; refuse, garbage, debris

dirt - grime, dust, soot, soil, etc. A state or quality of uncleanliness.

Geez.
.

Geezer

2 years 4 months ago

Just appreciating...

that you care enough to make a comment. ~ Geez.
.

Seren

2 years 4 months ago

Dearest Bro

What a plaintive write. It sings to the lonely hearts drawing them into your lovers lullaby. God this is really beautiful.

I love that ending I think it's nice to once in a while, for the lonely, the sad and the ugly of life to get their happy ending.

This is a beautiful story sung from the soul.

Bravo

Love and higgliest bugs Sis xox

Geezer

2 years 4 months ago

Thanks Sis...

This was one of those that I wrote while listening to some "Blues" music. I was writing to music and it started out much different than the way that it wound up. I'm glad that you liked it and felt strongly enough to comment on it. It makes me feel good that people can read some of my work long after it is displayed on the stream and wish to let me know how it affected them. Thanks Sis, love and higgest bugs, ~ Geez.
.

Abby

2 years 4 months ago

I really loved reading this.

I really loved reading this. I felt like I was walking with this man through alleyways and crying with him too. For a moment, his heartache was my heartache. His conflict, mine. What a journey.

Geezer

2 years 4 months ago

Thank you Abby...

I am glad you enjoyed this one, it was a tale born of part experience, [the alleys of New Orleans], my love for the blues, and
a story about a blind girl who had the voice of an angel. I put them all together and... Thanks for the read and comments.
~ Geezer.
.

Ruby Lord

4 months 2 weeks ago

This is lovely Geezer. I

This is lovely Geezer. I really enjoyed the flow and the heartfelt meaning in your words. A worthy entry to the competition. Ruby xx

Geezer

4 months 2 weeks ago

Thank you, Ruby,...

This is my favorite of the "Blues poems" I have written. I couldn't help entering it in the Blind date contest. Unfortunately, after rereading this, I had to go back and do a bit of editing to get it to line up with the parameters of line length. Thank you,
~ Geez.
.

Leslie

4 months 2 weeks ago

Sir G

Another piece of poetry well written, expressing things which most must have felt at one time or another. My only hope for you is that your health will hold up long enough to pen one or two more beautiful lines. Good luck an God speed your health and healing.Your writing keeps getting better although I know I may not be able to adequately express myself. I feel that you're a friend and honestly I have very few left. I've burned almost every bridge that I can possibly burn, but I hope there is is no division between you and I! Good fortune, good luck and look after yourself. I hope to meet you somewhere in some far off land of hope. You're poetry has blessed me so much! Thank you for being you, you're one of a kind!

Geezer

4 months 2 weeks ago

You sir...

are a prince, a gentleman and a scholar! I share your anguish, for the rest of the world. I know that that you struggle, as I do, to make sense of it. I think that the best we can do as a species, is to stick together and obey the Golden Rule. Think... if we could practice just that one, how different the world would be. Yes, you have a friend; more than me, you have many here on Neo. that consider your works very good. ~ Geez.
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