To Sleep by Georgian Bay

The open casements by my bed,
speak the sound of the Georgian shore,
when the moonless black night,
blinds in dark my open eyes.

I can only listen
to the rhythmic lapping water’s edge
on the nearby stones and sand,
saying,
Swoosh to sleep now,
Swoosh to sleep now,

In the whispered shush,
like the small curled waves
seeping back from shape,
I softly curl away,
into my seeping dreams,

Below the surface ripples,
spent by windswept crashes,
foamy fist’s thundering pound
that splashed white
on the gray gone day,
I am the blood flood shore.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: CAN

Favorite Poets: Dylan Thomas, Walt Whitman, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Leonard Cohen, Constantine Cavafy

Comments

Roscoe Lane

14 years 4 months ago

Great poem,

Great poem, at first i was not sure, i thought i'd read it all before. But reading it a few times, convinced me. Only thing i would do different is write it in verse, break it up, i think it would be more effective. Regards Roscoe...

ArrowWords

14 years 4 months ago

Verses

Thanks. I've broken it up into verses. I think the breaks are in the right places, but always have trouble being sure. I agree with your suggestion. Reading it aloud I was pausing without thinking about it and failed to put that on the page.

ArrowWords

14 years 4 months ago

Last word?

Thanks. I'm a little confused about your suggestion. Did you mean "peace"?

CCfire

14 years 3 months ago

Just lovely

You do have a way of making a poem almost into a whisper. I'd perhaps watch how many gerunds you use (ing words) that tend to weaken the images. But in saying that it's just my preference in how I write, this is just a beautiful piece.

ArrowWords

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks. Good comment. I have

Thanks. Good comment. I have made a few changes, trying to leave the gerunds only where they serve a purpose.

Cheers,
Don

scribbler

14 years 3 months ago

hello

One of the more peaceful soothing poems I've read in a while. Right up to blood floor shore which I must be too tired to know what That means lol................scribbler