Lavender

Mar 05, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Smashed, Flattened, and Splattered

The weather today was lovely,
sunny and unseasonably warm.
I thought I'd roll the windows down
and take the car for a spin.

I was heading along the main road,
kids on bikes and joggers galore.
Had the music up, my cool shades on,
singing along with my happy tunes.

Until...

There above on a rooftop,
I saw the most horrible sight.
Smashed, flattened, and splattered
was something red and white and black.

A little tan and brown in there, too,
all squished and squashed together.
Like melted crayons in the sun, and then,
I realized -- it was little Rudolph and Santa!

What could have happened?
Why had no one called for help?
The poor things must have crashed and burned,
and this was all that was left.

I hate to bear bad news
to kiddies, and well, myself alike,
but next year there'll be no presents 'neath the tree
'cause Santa...done took a dive.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: While out driving today, I saw a deflated blow-up Santa and reindeer clinging to a rooftop. I thought it might be poem-worthy.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Leslie

1 year 4 months ago

Lavender

What a great start for a day and how easily a morning can be tainted. Coming from you, I don't know how deeply it affected
you. I enjoyed reading this. You are one of my favorite poets, here at neopoet.

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Good morning, Leslie,

Ha, ha! It was such a beautiful spring-like day, and the deflated Santa just looked so strange and out of place, all crumpled and flat on the roof of a house. (Past time to put Santa away until later!)
Thank you for reading!
L

Candlewitch

1 year 4 months ago

Dear Lavender,

I am not sure how i feel about this as the myth of Santa is one of my favorites. The poem, "A visit From Saint Nicolas" is a lovely poem. I will have to come back, after taking a break, and read once more.

*hugs, Cat

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Hello, Cat,

Aw...perhaps this reads a bit over the top? I'm so sorry if this is bothersome in any way. The plastic, commercial blow-up deflated decoration still lingering on the rooftop on a warm March day was meant to be far from the lovely gestures of St. Nicholas. I'll take another look at it myself! Maybe delete it? Dunno...
Thanks for reading, and your wonderful honesty! I appreciate you!
Lx

Candlewitch

1 year 4 months ago

dearest Lavender,

NO! Do not delete...I am fine...just a foolish old soul, emphasis on "O L D!"

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Hello, Cat,

If such a silly ol' poem would ever hurt you in the least, my friend, I'd take it down, knowing that in some way I haven't expressed myself correctly. Anyhoo, I'm glad you are fine, and you are not a foolish old soul.
Lx

Candlewitch

1 year 4 months ago

Dear Lavender,

You are so right about those who leave their decorations up all year. we have one in our neighborhood too. I reread your poem and I like it very much. I think that Santa, himself would applaud you!

*hugs, Cat

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Hi, Cat,

I'm glad you enjoyed it - deflated Santa sure looks "out of sorts" up on the rooftop right now. Thank you so very much!
Lx

William Lynn

1 year 4 months ago

Hi Lavender.

I don't think 911 is going to help in this situation.
Some kiddos are going to be picketing your digs once the poem gets out there, asking "WHO IS RESPONIBLE?", "WHAT DID SHE DO TO PREVENT?".

Maybe not., I think it was a fun poem about those folks that leave their decorations up all damn year.

Sometimes it's just fun to screw around with a poem. Keep having fun! - Will

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Hello, Will,

This was definitely a whimsy, but I may need to contact The Christmas Decorations Police Patrol. Thank you for reading and sharing your sense of humor!
L

Geezer

1 year 4 months ago

I found...

the vision of Santa and the reindeer melted into the roof, kind of sad, but also funny. Like he finally just ran out of energy trying to satisfy us all! I'm sure he will be fine next year. ~ Geez.
.

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Hello, Geezer,

Yep, no more energy, not even a little hot air. He needs a whole lotta R&R before next year!
Thank you for reading!
L
I hope that you are well!

RoseBlack

1 year 4 months ago

I found this

really funny. My twisted sense of humor but then again I don't have any particular attachment to Santa and twisted tales are always a favorite. Well done.

Lavender

1 year 4 months ago

Hello, Carrie,

I can easily remove myself from the Spirit of Santa when seeing the commercial plastic decor neglected and lying about on a beautiful day in March. :) It did seem poem-worthy, though.
Thank you for reading!
L