Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

lovedly
lovedly
Nov 08, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

SMILE IN THE WILDERNESS

Too beautiful a smile
never to be forgotten
in the wilderness

she met him
thought of him perhaps
as a mirage
was he real
he smiled

silence prevailed
all were lost in the oasis
where was it but in imagery

the poet had nothing else to say
so he smiled right away
he had none to return his smile
yet the sun as usual did shine

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 8 months ago

Your poem seems...

fine up until the las two lines. You have already established that he smiled; why then do you say: "he too smiled."?
~ Geez.
.

S

scribbler

2 years 8 months ago

hi loved

I agree with geese. Also a bit of punctuation would benefit this poem."The poet had nothing else to say" is an excellent line

lovedly

lovedly

2 years 8 months ago

FROM WHERE DID THE SUN RISE ur on my page after ages

STAN DO SAY
WHEN ......
you were around Neo was differently sound

now they want my legal form
to post selected poems
as you know.....
of a no man anon
but poet of Neoman
life is a juxtaposition u know it....
scribble on
the sun has yet to set

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 8 months ago

Smile in the Wilderness

Hi, Lovedly,
The first stanza really grabs me...it is pure poetry. Not to be too romantic, but if I were listening to someone say those words to me, I don't think I'd here anything after that.
Thank you!
L