Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Mar 23, 2021
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Snow White
Her poison apple wasn’t poison at all
In fact it was a boy standing six foot tall
Dark and mysterious seemingly sweet
It’s no surprise she would fall
So maybe he was a diamond in the mines
But apple or no apple
He was toxic
She died
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
4 years 7 months ago
A bit...
of sarcasm here? I like it, but the abrupt switch from rhyme to free verse threw me. It stopped me cold in the middle!
The brevity of it, sort of made up for it, but... You seem to have all the elements of the Snow White story here with a twist ending. ~ Geezer.
.
c lynn brooks
4 years 7 months ago
may I suggest you switch line
may I suggest you switch line three with line four and continue your rhyming pattern
just a suggestion
Triskelion
4 years 4 months ago
I like this
Casual, succinct and complete, this poem has economy seldomly seen. The message is clear.