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So Glad to Be with You
“Hello, how are you? I’m Emily.”
“Emily, it’s Bill. I’m so glad to be with you.”
That said we go for a walk.
Wind our way through the town, we
were born here, married, raised children.
Strolling past the cemetery holding our parents,
Emily comments on the lovely statue of St. Michael.
“Hello, how are you? I’m Emily.”
“Emily, it’s Bill. I’m so glad to be with you.”
That said we go for a walk.
Sitting on the bench under the elm tree
looking across to the playground where we
watched our children grow and learn cooperation,
Emily comments on the stately statue of George Washington.
“Hello, how are you? I’m Emily.”
“Emily, it’s Bill. I’m so glad to be with you.”
That said we go for a walk.
Down to the river where we swam as children
sitting on the fallen log where sixty years ago we sat
and I proposed and Emily completed me,
Emily comments on the rustic covered bridge.
And every day with Emily continues to complete me.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
judyanne
13 years 1 month ago
well bryan
this brought a lump to my throat
the emotion is raw in this poem
the repetition so effective, especially the ‘that said we go for a walk’
and that last line, well...
‘and every day with Emily continues to complete me’, although I wonder if, instead of ‘and’, you might consider ‘still’ ?
excellent write
love judy
xxx
phxdreams
13 years 1 month ago
Very powerful write! .
Very powerful write! ..thank you so much for allowing me to read this.
loved
13 years 1 month ago
lovely Emily and Bill ..Where is jill???
“Hello, how are you? I’m Emily.”
“Emily, it’s Bill.
I’m so glad to be with you.”
That said we go for a walk....
then throughout our lives
we talk...
both together
now Emily says
You first listen to me..
lovely Emily..
And of course now sweet Bill..
Sure enough better would have been Jill...
hahahahahahha..lololololol