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So I Let A Darling Go

I promised I will let one darling go,
I'll open the cage and shoo it out,
let it live all by itself
in the wild,
where scheming hunters (not unlike
yourself)
may pick at it, and when you're done
I'll be pleased to hear your thoughts;
they're treasures too, you know?

It's not as if there's much
contained in this, afterall,
most poems cannot be profound;
we've grown numb to such things,
God is not God,
but what we paint in churches,
and beauty,
the ugliness of industry, is
now in vogue.

But what I'll let you know is
this, the people have all walked
away, not realising that each
wasting day, I fade into the
thinness of the air, get lost
when they forget me too. I stand
alone where the moon's light
shines the least,
a bit in the shadows mainly
to keep off frights, but mostly
out of sight,
because it's fun to write and
let it speak to me, good one.

I'm willing to die, to burn,
feed my ashes to the clouds,
and maybe fall as rain.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Trouble with the title, I think. But I really want your thoughts on this. After a day, I'll start messaging people to critique this poem. UPDATE: I just changed it from "Letting Darlings Go" to "So I Let A Darling Go"

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ghana, GHA

Favorite Poets: William Shakespeare, Lord Byron, John Keats, Percy Shelley, Oscar Wilde, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Henry Longfellow, William Yates, Ezra Pound, Sylvia Plath

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

11 years 6 months ago

Hello Williams

If you lable this something like "the free soul" there would be more connection between the first stanza and the rest of the poem, otherwise I see there is no much connection between these two unless I am missing something, but this remains an enjoyable piece with quite nice imagery.

William Saint George

William Saint George

11 years 6 months ago

To explain

the first stanza is directly speaking to someone, a specific person in my life....the person I actually wrote this poem for. It's that "friend" I lost, so this might make things clearer for you. If she read it, she'll know fully well what it means.

For a more general explanation, I promised myself not to share as much poetry as I did the last month (http://seriouspoetry.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/to-share-or-to-keep/) so, out of seven poems I wrote yesterday, I decided to "Let one darling go", which is this poem.

To the reader who isn't her, I'm giving out this poem so you can read and share your thoughts on it, because I think those thoughts are treasures too.

.I hope it makes things clearer. Thanks for leaving a treasure behind :D

.

R

raj

11 years 6 months ago

Hi William

thanks for sharing the essence of this write and where it comes from...makes a lot more sense then..