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Mar 11, 2019
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So Immense
We connect the dots
When we’re deep in thought
A million synapses in the brain
We take the time
To make the perfect rhyme
Like the meadow needs the rain
Cause life don’t always
Make much sense
But when it does
It’s so immense
It’s the engine
The steam engine
To our train
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
6 years 4 months ago
Your titles...
are always or almost always, great. Language is good too, not overly simple but, plain words to understand. The rhyme was great and the theme was brought nicely to and from the beginning to end. Nice little ditty to add to the day. ~ Geezer.
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gregwa8
6 years 4 months ago
thanks geezer
thanks Geezer
gregwa8
6 years 4 months ago
thanks Legna
thanks Legna