Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 07, 2023
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
So Much My Heart Can Take
There is only so much I can
take my dear, so much I can do.
but I fear that all my power
is gone when I stand here
right in front of you.
My tears turn into waterfalls
my heart hard as stone.
My soul so full of hatred
oh the fire how much it grows.
My death I know it's coming
I can see it in your eyes
when will you stop and see
the fear you put into my
life.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 5 months ago
Hi Heather
Another deeply emotional poem from you. Are you Ok? I’m always around if you need a rescue.
I like your writing. I want to continue to work with you on format and I hope I’m not overstepping.
Try this
There is (only) so much I can take my dear,
so much I can do.
but I fear that all my power is gone
when I stand here
right in front of you.
My tears turn into waterfalls
my heart hard as stone.
My soul so full of hatred
oh the fire how much it grows.
My death I know it's coming
I can see it in your eyes
when will you stop and see
the fear you put into my life.
You’re doing so well, keep it up,
Tim