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So much positivity today September fourth

analogous to seventh heaven lee delight
this two thousand and twenty five
listed in reverse order of events
lastly spoke over the telephone
Courtesy Creative Health representative and arranged
to become linkedin with a recovery coach,
to acquaint myself videlicet unnamed person
eleven thirty post meridien
September twelfth at Ott's Exotic Plants
nearly spent the one hundred dollar GIANT gift card
from generous staff members
at Saint Mary's Church
40 Spring Mt Rd, Schwenksville, PA 19473
ala (king) lee St. Vincent de Paul Society
and plunked down a ten dollar bill
to purchase five PowerBall tickets,
but prior to the above embarked on a quest
to locate the wife at clearance section,
where we frequently acquire
commestibles at discount prices.

Even dummkopf me learns
how to become a savvy shopper
courtesy the wife
who figuratively drags me
(and my Petty full heart) along
but more often then not,
I leave buying food
at the market to the spouse
one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
and she would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or another
to purchase sought after item(s)
despite schlepping the extra miles,
and often scoops up goods
in one fell swoop
from clearance section,
and adheres to the postman's credo
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat
nor gloom of night stays these couriers
from the swift completion
of their appointed rounds"
often considered the motto
and inscribed in gray granite
above the entrance
to the New York City Post Office.

The phrase comes from
The Persian Wars by Herodotus,
written around 500 B.C.
during the wars between
the Greeks and Persians.

Herodotus referring to the Persian
mounted postal couriers,
who he observed with great admiration
and said were undeterred
by the elements
from completing their rounds.

The phrase was modified and approved
by the Post Office Department in 1914
by William Mitchell Kendall,
an architect at McKim, Mead & White,
the firm that designed
the New York General Post Office.

Kendall (the son of a classics scholar)
enjoyed reading Greek.

Every now and again, I accompany her,
after she tries in vain
to coax and wheedle yours truly
(with threats she won't buy me any drinks -
such as Kombucha),
nevertheless but frequently remain
holed up in our one bedroom apartment
disinclined to subject myself,
(a socially anxious aging baby boomer,
and lapsed long hair pencil neck geek)
to the cruel embarrassment and harassment
linkedin with Samson syndrome
characterized courtesy lovely long golden locks
bully me prime target for mean people,
who offer their unsolicited feedback loop.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

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neopoet

neopoet

3 weeks 2 days ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem presents a detailed, conversational narrative that blends everyday experiences with historical and cultural references, creating a layered texture that invites reflection. The stream-of-consciousness style captures the speaker’s thoughts and actions in a way that feels intimate and immediate.

Strengths: - The poem’s use of specific details—dates, locations, and brand names—grounds the narrative in a tangible reality, lending authenticity. - Incorporating the historical background of the postal service motto adds an unexpected depth, connecting personal experience to broader human perseverance. - The humor and self-deprecation, especially in lines like “Even dummkopf me learns” and the description of social anxiety, provide a relatable and humanizing voice.

Areas for development: - The poem’s structure is quite dense and runs without clear stanza breaks, which can make it challenging for readers to navigate. Introducing stanzas or line breaks to separate shifts in topic or tone could enhance readability and emphasize key moments. - Some phrases feel overly formal or archaic (“videlicet,” “commestibles,” “courtesy driving”) in contrast to the casual tone elsewhere. Balancing diction to maintain a consistent voice might strengthen the poem’s cohesion. - The narrative occasionally meanders, which can dilute the impact of the central themes. Focusing more tightly on a few core images or ideas—such as the relationship dynamic with the wife or the motif of perseverance—could create a more resonant emotional arc. - The ending introduces “Samson syndrome” and “linkedin with Samson syndrome” in a way that is somewhat unclear. Clarifying this metaphor or its significance would help readers grasp the emotional stakes more fully.

Overall, the poem offers a rich tapestry of personal anecdote, cultural commentary, and historical insight. With attention to structure and clarity, it could become even more engaging and impactful.

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