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This poem is part of the contest:

03/25 New Member Contest

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Soaken

The world's apart
The thorns of a glass are left to be held
Mirror floating, broken with no reflection

Heart shaken in disbelief
No disper of fear, at any disposal
A day ment nothing, as hours evaporated with the wind of life perishing thoroughly

There is no chance to see further
Everything it's consumed back to the earth
The soil is swollen with Ashes
No one is left behind

No sign of soul in the South
No light of hope in the East
There is no reason to the West
The north is swallowed

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Lebo Mashile, Emily Dickinson

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

3 months 1 week ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Soaken" evokes a sense of desolation and loss through its imagery and stark language. The theme of separation and destruction is effectively conveyed through phrases like "Mirror floating, broken with no reflection" and "The soil is swollen with Ashes." The use of symbolism, such as the thorns of glass and the absence of reflection, adds depth to the poem's message.

To enhance the impact of your poem, consider refining the structure and flow. Some lines could benefit from more clarity or precision in their expression. For example, the line "A day ment nothing, as hours evaporated with the wind of life perishing thoroughly" could be rephrased for smoother readability. Additionally, varying the line lengths and incorporating more rhythmic patterns could help create a more dynamic and engaging poem.

Furthermore, you may want to explore expanding on the emotions or reflections of the speaker in response to the desolation described. Adding a personal perspective or introspective element could deepen the reader's

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Clentin

Clentin

3 months ago

Your images are wonderful. I

Your images are wonderful. I had to read your poem several times to get the full meaning.
I am happy to see your poems. Welcome to Neopoet!