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Punkyfrewster
May 04, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 05/04/25 to 05/10/25 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

Solace

There is a stillness
free from torment,
free from concern,
free from turmoil.
A world without
the struggle of climbing to the top
just to find a precipice
and the inevitable plunge.
A world without
the anxiety
of the up and the down,
of the back and the forth,
A world without
the pull
between the me
and the you.
A world with
harmony
and with tranquility
and with calm
in my mind,
and my heart,
and my soul.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Kentucky, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickenson

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Consider exploring more concrete imagery or specific examples to ground the abstract concepts of "torment," "turmoil," and "anxiety." The repetition of "A world without" effectively emphasizes the longing for peace, but varying the phrasing or structure slightly could enhance the poem's rhythm and prevent predictability. The lines "the up and the down," "the back and the forth," and "the me and the you" could benefit from more precise or original language to deepen emotional resonance. Additionally, the concluding lines referencing "mind," "heart," and "soul" are familiar concepts; consider expressing these internal states in fresher or more distinctive terms to leave a stronger impression.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Rula

1 month 2 weeks ago

P.f

This is expressive beyond the words.It has the raw and fresh elements of love poetry.
You said much in few words. Just my cup of coffee for this morning.
Also thank you for introducing me to the word "precipice"
Always good to read fresh poetry.
Thank you for sharing.

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Punkyfrewster

1 month 2 weeks ago

Rula,

Thank you for reading and commenting! Now, you can use precipice in a poem!

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 2 weeks ago

Very nice...

I liked the flow, but I would see if I could do without a few of those [and]; sometimes, punctuation can help with that. Other than that, excellent!
~Geez.
.

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Punkyfrewster

1 month 1 week ago

Koki,

Thank you for reading! I am so glad you enjoyed my poem!

Leslie

Leslie

1 month 1 week ago

Punkyfrewster

You may not know me, but I've read a few of your poems. Congrats on the win, it was very,very good. I understand the feelings of anxiety. Never give up anxiety can derail you and make you do things that you really don't want to do. Message me back if you feel brave enough

Leslie

Leslie

1 month 1 week ago

Punky

Now I know that you understand mental illness and Iim happy that you've found solace. Thanks for the reply I need more friends. Once again congrats it was a great poem.