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Feb 09, 2011
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For Someone Whom I Know
For someone whom I know:
All the words, deeds and redundancies
Buried with memories,
Written in sheets alleviated
By time and amber ties
Disintegrating.
For someone whom I know:
The resurrected obscurities
Engulfed within my heart,
My soul and insecurity,
Sufficed by gall and bile
Retaliating.
For someone whom I know
Are these two words exhilarating:
"Misguided trust", gleaming
The heart with realizations
Of hefty betrayal
Obliterating.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Placed a comma on the end of 1-3. - Thanks for the tip, Amal.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Dennis Go
14 years 4 months ago
Hi Amal,
Maybe I should put a comma separating lines 3 and 4 to make my point clearer.
For someone whom I know:
All the words, deeds and redundancies
Buried with memories (,)
Written in sheets alleviated
By time and amber ties
Disintegrating.