Sometimes when I pray,

Sometimes when I pray,
I pray that I will be happy.
that I could experience joy and love.

Sometimes when I pray,
I pray to be alone
maybe then I’ll know peace.

But sometimes…
sometimes when I pray,
I pray that I’ll die.

That the wind would take my breath away
or I would sleep and awaken in the afterlife.
That the blood in my veins would run down my fingertips
and my heart will turn ice cold.

Sometimes, I close my eyes
and lie in the grass.
Misty fog surrounds me
I hope death feels like this…