Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jul 05, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Somewhere in time
Somewhere in time
I need to make
More friends
Because I only have
Few friends
And the friends I have
Got some respect for me
They respect my race
And my religion
Also, I respect my friends
Race and religion
Somewhere in time
My friends are praying for God
And God answer my friend's
Prayer
Somewhere in time
My friends are praying for the
Countries
That are in war
For them to have some peace
We don't know when the war will
End overseas
AII we know is that there are
Children
Dying of mall nutrition
And that is terrible to see
Because the children are very small
And they can't communicate
Their parents are crying
Also
Somebody will have to burry
The dead people
Every single day
Also they don't have clean
Water
And some medical supply
They throw grenades at their
Neighbors
AIso they haven't got any
Food supply
My friends and I are very lucky
To live
In a country that is not
At war
The people that are
Fighting in the war will never
Return home
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem uses repetition and plainspoken language to explore themes of friendship, respect, and the tragedies of war. The structure is linear and direct, with each stanza or section presenting a new idea or observation, often beginning with “Somewhere in time,” which serves as a refrain and attempts to link personal experience with broader global issues.
The poem’s focus on mutual respect among friends, particularly regarding race and religion, is clear and unambiguous. This explicitness, while sincere, could be strengthened by employing more imagery or metaphor to evoke emotion and allow the reader to infer meaning, rather than stating it outright. The poem’s shift from personal relationships to global suffering is abrupt, and the transition could benefit from more connective tissue—perhaps through imagery or a narrative thread that ties the personal to the political more cohesively.
The depiction of war is factual and empathetic, listing the hardships faced by those affected: malnutrition, lack of clean water, medical supplies, and the trauma of daily violence. The poem’s catalog of suffering is effective in its accumulation, but the language remains largely expository. Consider incorporating sensory details or specific, concrete images to make the suffering more immediate and visceral for the reader.
The poem concludes with a reflection on the speaker’s own relative safety, which introduces a note of survivor’s guilt or gratitude. This contrast between the speaker’s life and those in war zones is a powerful device, but it could be deepened by exploring the emotional complexity of this realization.
Attention to line breaks and enjambment could also enhance the poem’s rhythm and emphasis. Currently, the lines are often broken at syntactic units, which can make the reading feel halting. Experimenting with where lines end could help create more tension or highlight key phrases.
Overall, the poem’s earnestness and concern for global suffering are evident, but the impact could be heightened through more figurative language, attention to structure, and a more nuanced exploration of the connections between personal and global experiences.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact