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PT
Patrick Terrence
Jan 24, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Song to match the magic of Assisi

Spendthrift wild man
drunk with the love of life,
singing for the tone-deaf
who cannot hear your song:

a song of joyful abandon of
the strictures of Church blind
but blessed by your heart
full of mercy and love.

Waken the minstrel in me,
the vagabond, wild and free
that I may live so simply
trusting, in creaturely praise.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Manawatu-Whanganui, New Zealand

Favorite Poets: Sam Hunt, Denis Glover, Emily Dickinson, Thomas Merton, James K Baxter, T. S. Eliot, Gerard Manley Hopkins, Joy Cowley, W. B. Yeats

More from this author

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

Excellent

This is a good one. Frankly I’m shocked he’s sainted, worshipping those real idols instead of the false dogma of the church. Nature is my religion. Wife and I are pagan and we observe the cycles and pay reverence to the earth and moon under the ageless sky. We would have been burned at the stake.

Great writing,
Tim

P

Patrick Terrence

2 years 5 months ago

Hi Tim. With Earth and Heaven

Hi Tim. With Earth and Heaven also the light of my life, thankfully we do not live in such rigid, dogmatically oppressive times, at least in terms of faith, religious or otherwise, excluding the dogmatism of capitalist economics! A very dear friend of mine, an avowed atheist - though I think he would say now he was more a humanist - spoke of his tramping (that's our Kiwi expression for bush walking) experience when he was on a rise after walking several hills and valleys and he looked at the vista of the multilayered levels of landscape and had an experience he could not put into words. He did come up with one and I have quoted him often; he called it an experience of the "beyondness".

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

Beyondness

Knowing there are things I cannot know is the most beautiful contemplation and it’s the fire inside my being. Inspiring

Tim

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 5 months ago

hello Patrick,

welcome to Neopoet,

I too am Pagan. a child of Nature. this is a great little poem you have written. my favorite lines are:

Waken the minstrel in me,
the vagabond, wild and free
that I may live so simply
trusting, in creaturely praise.

*hugs, Cat

P

Patrick Terrence

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you, Candlewitch, for

Thank you, Candlewitch, for your welcome. I'm humbled by your comment. I can get so easily absorbed by the beauties of the natural world, my immediate world so often as I look at the birch trees, my sisters so frequently losing their split ends by the Manawatu wind.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 5 months ago

Well and...

nicely done, your piece is a reminder that we are all part of "Nature."
~ Geezer.
.

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 5 months ago

My last...

"sentence", as you say; is what is called a signature. Not necessarily meant for you in particular. I find that there are many people who write stories, poems, what have you, and when you correct them in any manner, shape or form about whatever, they claim that they write for themselves, and they don't particularly care if anyone else agrees with what they've said.
I say that that is wrong, if they only write for themselves, why not keep a diary and write in it? That way, when they are feeling like a poet or whatever, they can pull it out and read it! Of course, we write for others; to see what they think of what we have written. To share our stories with others. If you check, you will see that that signature on every communication of mine.
~ Geezer.
.