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Nov 27, 2019
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Song of Muses
hold me in your eyes
asI dance into your soul.
blink for a second…
you miss the song of muses.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Sparrow 42
5 years 7 months ago
Foxy
Is there the final line missing,
There is a Japanese Form of 5-7-5 7-7 syllables.
Tanka I believe ,
A form of Japanese verse in five lines of 5, 7, 5, 7, and 7 morae. 1996, Makoto Ueda, Modern Japanese Tanka: An Anthology, →ISBN: Like haiku, Tanka is a short, classical verse form that has attracted considerable attention in this century.··
Otherwise to short to talk much about,
Though I did write a four liner on each of the Nine muses.
Take care Yours Ian T
c lynn brooks
5 years 7 months ago
foxy
if this is not one of the asian styles then I would like to see more added to this as I like your words
Geezer
5 years 7 months ago
As say...
the others, I would like to see an additional line. Nice.
~ Geezer.
.
themoonman
5 years 7 months ago
Hi,
Cool title, drew me in for the read.
I agree with the others, it could stand
to be longer but in my opinion, stands
pretty well as it is. One suggestion,
remove "muses" from the last line,
no need to spoon feed.
Edna Sweetlove
5 years 7 months ago
Oh.
Oh dear.