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crypticbard
crypticbard
May 04, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Song for a Starry Night

`

Let a song rise through your tears,
Let a smile crease your wet cheeks.
Invoke kindness even when pain follows;
Let the bright of morning kiss your lips.

Let this song its sounds caress
They wipe away the raindrops and
make the echoes flee in the dark of night;
A long day floats away in its melody.

Let sleep quietly soft, lift you up
in the crook of its gentle arms tonight.
Let twinkling stars line your misty dreams.
Set sail on a shimmering crystal sea.

`

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

14 years 2 months ago

Nice and...

soothing, but a few changes might make it a little smoother.
Capitalize the [A] long day. Drop the ly from soft[ly], and change the [ly] on twinkly, to [ing]. Just a couple of thoughts, ~ Gee

Frederick Kesner

Frederick Kesner

14 years 2 months ago

Thanks Gee

I've tweaked it as per suggestion and may just gotten through the smoothness threshold. Thanks much, much.

Frederick Kesner

Frederick Kesner

14 years 2 months ago

cliches don't make a bad poem make

....not necessarily so.
And everyone has them but not likely to share them;
unless, of course, their business acumen goads them to make a few $ just like Hallmark.
Thanking you for the cliche comment.... stating the obvious makes it all the more obvious :-)
[The only sad thing is that of all the poems I have posted up for critique this is the one you picked.

loved

loved

14 years 2 months ago

i am sure

as you show a single eye
the other one is busy

winking

at the one for whom this song was sung
great friend
hope u r a musician
2222222222222222222222222222

loved

loved

12 years 8 months ago

at times we long to hear

at times we long to hear
Louis Armstrong sing,
a jazz slow
likewise Cryptic does surprise
I wished all to know
the poet resurfaced
from fathoms below,
lost in the maze they call this world
hurried and buried
between daily chores
but the return of a poet here
makes one say for sure
Neopoets are loved
by one and all