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crypticbard
crypticbard
Apr 11, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

song to the stars

Hair in the wind
Brown in the sun
Midday-born light—
Silken strands of crested corn.

Jack was nimble
he was quick
but he's not taking that candlestick.
All the queen's horses
and all the queen's men
run their own courses,
then run them again.

Sparks light the sky
a brilliant welder's flash
a jewel in disguise
a jouster's winning prize;
and yet, a clockwork dandelion
sings softly to forgotten stars.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

More from this author

Comments

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

3 months ago

This had

A very medieval feel to it. I like the play on nursery rhymes. Very creative.

Frederick Kesner

Frederick Kesner

3 months ago

So good of you to pick that

So good of you to pick that up. It’s an intriguing observation as it wasn’t the primary aim to sound that way. The thought that most nursery rhymes are from that era may be the underlying cause of this internal logic of the poem. Thanks so much, this has been encouraging :-)

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 months ago

Full of surprises!

I liked the playful reconstruction of nursery rhymes, but I really loved the turn from impish to surreal, with thees lines ending...

Sparks light the sky
a brilliant welder's flash
a jewel in disguise
a jouster's winning prize;
and yet, a clockwork dandelion
sings softly to forgotten stars.

great enjoyment was had by the reading of this confection! fondly, Cat