judyanne

Feb 05, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

"Sonnets"...Let's Know More

(Read More...)

a sonnet to Autumn (sonnet WS)

what trickster great this phony season fall
Demeter’s soul allures as Autumn nears
disguising, well, herself to one and all
appears and walks and sings lamenting tears

adorning young Persephone’s silk song
betraying virtues innocent to bloom
with feign’ed prophesy that’s false and wrong
deserting them, to fade and die too soon

and yet to judge her beauty I am loath
until the cold wet winds descend discord
and bring the long soft slumbering of growth
the sweet deceiver’s gifts are all adored

and who’s to say the when, who dare enquires
the worth of hour a flower’s soul aspires?
.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

alidzain

10 years 4 months ago

judy

i thought the "sing" in "disguising" is stressed. hmmm

Alid

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

hi alid

dis -GUIS -ing
love judy
xxx

nokros

10 years 4 months ago

a lot of thought

put into this piece - prosodically correct - metre and rhythm in touch - good write.

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

thank you

very much nokros, for the read and very kind comment
love judy
xxx

Rula

10 years 4 months ago

Awesome dear Judyanne

I believe this is again a dialect thing,

also not sure about
bloom/soon ... at least not perfect

I see your couplet with 11 syllables, but think it is somehow acceptable as long as the tenth syllable is still masculine not feminine

An awesome sonnet as usual.
I especially loved the enjambement use in the couplet.
Thanks for sharing

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

I cannot see

any dialect sounding 'VIRT -ues INN -o -CENT' in any other way

and 'soft SLUMB -er -ING'
'soft' - I know that is debatable, but I think its unstressed enough in this context

bloom / soon - yes you are right ... I won't be changing it however - I'm tired of this write
let's see if my next one can't be more perfect :)

love judy
xxx

Rula

10 years 4 months ago

I don't mean to argue

but this is how I found "innocent". May I ask which dictionary do you refer to usually. I think they differ as American, English or Aussi :) :)
adjective in·no·cent \ˈi-nə-sənt\

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

it is really pronounced INN -o -cent

One does not say inn -O -cent
and any dictionary I have checked ....IN -uh -suh nt

But for the purpose of the sonnet, the last syllable can be slightly stressed
It is not a perfect line, but acceptable I think, especially before 'to'

judy

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

and too

enquire , aspire
are not really 3 syllables
en -KWAHYUH R
uh - SPAHYUH R

love judy

wesley snow

10 years 4 months ago

The "r" on enquire is, I believe,

a diphthong. It should account for only about the last 3 to 5 percent of the second syllable which means I don't think it can be used as a syllable itself.
As to the poem I agree with many of Rula's comments, but still found it hauntingly beautiful. Just a gorgeous sonnet.

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

thanks Wes

but saying you agree with most of Rula's comments, I hope you're referring to only the rhyme of bloom / soon, and with the stressing of soft

but not, I would hope, including the pronunciations of 'innocent' and 'slumbering'

Thanks for the very kind words re this write
Love judy
xxx

Esker

10 years 4 months ago

guise

anything to do with Autumn Im in
I love how flowers close at night
and open in the urged heat of a suns
rays

loved the triffid movie too
and The Wall
the sensuality and power
of flowers
cacti blooms
the water lilies
so delicate
on the dark tannic
mystery

Your poems are expressions
of feeling Judyanne
depth

I like this...

Thank You!

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

thank you Steve

for the lovely comment
love judy
xxx

lovedly

10 years 4 months ago

what happened

how my comment vanished
tis a mystery
do read half a sonnet i just posted
Judy

alidzain

10 years 4 months ago

you did?

what's the title?

Alid

mand

10 years 4 months ago

Hi Judyanne

I googled Demeter and Persephone - ( don't know much about Greek mythology ). I really like the mystical feel of this poem, especially in connection with Autumn. I'm guessing there is far, far more to this poem than I have comprehended, nonetheless what I do comprehend is your skill and incredible knowledge - you never cease to amaze me. :)

So very well done Judy. :)

LOve Mand xxxx

judyanne

10 years 4 months ago

Mand

Such very kind words, and a beautiful complement
thank you
I am very glad you liked this and bothered to google the goddesses
Love judy
xxx