A Sonnet Dedicated to British Supermarkets and Fast Food Caffs

O let us sing a song of gorgeous British food
Roast beef, fish 'n' chips and lovely Brummy balti;
Some of it is bad and some of it is good
(and yummy TV dinners...Mmmmm... they're really salty).
But the finest treats are Findus beef lasagne
(with its extra secret subtle basinful of horse),
And ne'er forget a burger a la espa-na-ya,
(made from minced-up donkeys' genitals of course).

Britain's Chinese restaurants are also velly nice-y
They serve food so tasty, and so low in fat,
(and no one cares if Sichuan Chicken, hot 'n' spicy,
includes some choice cuts from your neighbour's missing cat).
School and hospital canteens, the gourmet paradise,
Serving pigswill on the cheap - obese kids know it's very nice.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Obviously it doesn't apply to Waitrose.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: London, Culture Capital of the World

Favorite Poets: Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke, Chaucer, Shakespeare to name but a few. And VERY IMPORTANTLY: Erich Fried, a leftwing Austrian of Jewish ancestry who fled the Nazis and became a British citizen in 1949., And, other writers (non-poets mainly): Raymond Chandler, Irvine Welsh, Anthony Burgess, Graham Greene, Charles Bukowski, John le Carré, Anthony Horowitz, Mick Herron, Margaret Attwood, Edna O'Brian, Maeve Binchy., Writers who I find vastly over-rated: TS Eliot, Virgina Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Phil Larkin, E.A. Poe, A. Ginsburg, Longfellow, Gerald Manley Hopkins (actually I LOATHE Hopkins more than damson-dappled words can say).

Comments

vandiemenspeak

5 years 9 months ago

Like a more sweary Pam Ayres.

And a lot funnier! Love it. Don't forget the kebabs opposite the pub, that were found to made out of pigeons hmmmm. I think it was in Brighton.

Made me think of every after pup/b (Freudian slip?) curry I ever endured in Newark On Trent.

Thank you,

Chris.

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 9 months ago

Newark?

Newark is famous for the proletarian nature of its curry houses where you only get cat vindaloo on feast days. Otherwise it's rodent time.

vandiemenspeak

5 years 9 months ago

I would question more...

The things that comprised kebabs in a number of infamous kebab houses. None would question. Until the morning after, where the remnants of the kebab could be found, loosely wrapped in chip paper. In it's solidified, congealed state, it more resembled cardboard, but, to the the discerning kebab apologist, 2 mins in the microwave would return it to an edibble state, hence breakfast.
I wonder sometimes how so many of that generation survived.

Cheers.
Chris.