judyanne

Jun 29, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Sonnet (untitled)

Oh summer days of youth, those days of grace --
sun ripened fruits, red cherry-plums and figs,
sweet wines from vines of interwoven lace,
all grown, as magic, out of winter's twigs.

The jaunt through autumn gives the chance to flaunt
the cougar's prime as, gently, life enthralls.
Until begins the search for kindly warmth,
as whiskers turn to snow and fig leaves fall.

No stopping time, encroaching frosty gales
begin their rage against mortality --
assailing, carving coats with wrinkled braille,
as all matures towards senility.

But, always, grows from winter's icy sting
the promise of tomorrow's nascent spring.
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

raj

9 years ago

Hi Judyanne

Of course everyone knows that sonnet is one of your favorite poetry forms and you are an expert at it. i especially loved the final two verses ...i thought you may want to tweak the third quadrant to make it free flowing...just my thought...

much love...

judyanne

9 years ago

hi Raj

I'm not sure where you found the third stanza out.... if you'd said the first I would've understood, as it isn't quite iambic - a few trochee in there, but I think I get away with them .... but the third is iambic to my ear....
any suggestions for a title?
thanks for the visit and comment
love judy
xxx

raj

9 years ago

Apologies Judyanne...

You are fully aware that I am absolutely no good when it comes to those strict forms, in fact the very word Sonnet still gives me nightmares..what I had said was my unqualified opinion going by the ear...please ignore it..

Regards,

judyanne

9 years ago

no need for apologies

Your ear heard something out - just because mine doesn't, doesn't mean you are wrong...
any crit is helpful in that it makes me check
love judy
xxx

jane210660

9 years ago

Hi Judyanne

Hi Judyanne
Enjoyed this, it has a vague `Ode to Autumn feel about it - or is it just that Romantic association?
I absolutely love the rhyming couplet. Jx

judyanne

9 years ago

hi Jane

Thanks, I'm happy you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx

lovedly

9 years ago

I could never learn from you

intricacies of sonnets
tried to tell me judy you

but waffle now i slice
and poetry pays my price

but waffle i thought was spice
yet you despise
as if it were rice!

judyanne

9 years ago

hello loved

Thanks for the visit
waffle...piffle....
keep culling :)
Love judy
xxx

lovedly

9 years ago

soonly

all will cull me you know the fate of wafflers no?

judy maaaaaa'm

Eduardo Cruz

9 years ago

Judy,

There is a beauty to this write that is unexplainable.
It has the quality of a lullaby. and the quiet strength of a romantic relationship between seasons.
This is a wonderful way to attribute each its power. The pictures from words lead you by the hand to its inevitable conclusion.
Well done, Bravo!!

Eddie C.

judyanne

9 years ago

hello Eddie

Lovely to see you :)
Thanks for the very kind comments....
was aiming for a subtext of human life , but glad you found the seasonal connection...
a lullaby - nice - I think the iambic and double rhyming in places might attribute to that.... unintentional, but interesting as lullaby really fits the theme....
wow thanks lol - I did good without knowing

Thanks Eddie
love judy
xxx

wesley snow

9 years ago

Hi, remember me?

Haven't been around for a while what with broken computers, quadruple bypass surgery and such. In fact I can't remember the last time I read a poem. It has been many, many months.
I knew I was acting wisely by starting again with you.

raj

9 years ago

Welcome back Wesley..

Hope you are now fine....wishing you happy times and good health always...you were missed here...

Stay well.

judyanne

9 years ago

Wes!

I've been away a while - saw you'd been unwell only recently....
glad to see you're on the improve.... great to see you back

Thanks for the visit and very kind compliment
love judy
xxx

wesley snow

9 years ago

Arterial bypass surgery.

It was cool. The most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. My life was over. Sooner or later (sooner)... then the event. It was unbelievable.

I don't recommend it however. It is a bit disturbing to say the least.
They stop the heart you know. For hours at a time...
Whew.

Esker

9 years ago

the poems have found a stronger voice

and the word use throughout carries its bravdo
and compassionate edge too the last..

Nice use of nascent

excellent Judy!

Thank U!

judyanne

9 years ago

thanks Steve

for the visit and kind comment
love judy
xxx

lovedly

8 years 2 months ago

Judy

We all are a part of Snowman's SONNET workshop

Your sonnet is perfect
but for my weakness of identifying syllables
can you remark this beautiful piece

so that we all can learn
where 'tis iambic
where trochee
and
the two more
dactyle etc
and
also let all know some thing about
scansions
what it means

a dull piffling still poet me
once loved
now ly