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Soul mate - (a minute poem) with spoken word

https://soundcloud.com/rula68/soul-mate-a-minute-poem

I let my feelings once go free,
and flee to be,
like autumn's breeze,
that flows in ease,

and have my heart to go that far,
above the star,
but you'd surprise
(I tell no lies)

I found it there, where you have been,
as loving hearts are meant to twin,
and have their fill
of love and thrill.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

hello Mark

I have done a slight modification to meet the form requirements. It should be 8,4,4,4 in three stanzas. 12 lines in 60 syllables. That's it. Too easy and really cool.. Just pick the theme, not necessarily a love poem. you might consider writing about anything else and there you are.
Thank you for your words

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Dearest Audri

Nice to meet you as well. Thank you so much for your visit and your thoughts. I see what you mean, however , if you have noticed, this is a form called (minute poetry) that goes in 12 lines and 60 syllables, hence comes the name, and any change will affect the form. Hope that makes a bit of sense.
Here is more about it if you like to give it a shot.
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/minute.html

Thanks again for your kind comment.

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

If you have

three stanzas with 20 syllables in each stanza (8,4,4,4), then you absolutely have a minute poem. (60 syllables) no matter how much time you had to compose it dear Mark. :)

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you sir

I am really humbled by your kind words. They mean more than you'd ever imagine.
Thank you.

jane210660

jane210660

8 years 3 months ago

Hi Rula

I've never written a minute poem before.
I find fairly strict patterns quite difficult to adhere to.
Hats off, you nailed it.
Thought the reading was lovely, what a good idea to use background music.
Jx

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Hello Jane

and many thanks for your supporting words. I am happy to know you thought the background music is nice. When no one commented, I thought no one cares about the reading :)
Appreciate it highly dear.

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you Mark

Hope you're not banging it in despair though hahaha.
Just kidding. Really thank you.

themoonman

themoonman

8 years 3 months ago

Hi Rula,

What a treat to hear your
voice ... thanks and I like
your minute poem, cool.

Richard

Rula

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Hello Richard

Long time no seen. I am really humbled with your words.
Great to know you've enjoyed reading this little piece. Love poems were never my cup of tea and that's why I'm trying to experiment different forms with this subject and get out of my comfort zone.
Again many thanks for your kind visit.

S

scribbler

8 years 3 months ago

Hi Rula

Sitting in the library
where near silence is expected of me
it hardly come as a surprise
that I can use naught but my eyes

So though I turned to the sound cloud
I guess they thought it was too loud
so I'll just be forced to wait
to hear your words in future date

I think this took about 45 seconds lol.....slow typer..........stan

Keith Logan

Keith Logan

8 years 2 months ago

I looked up minute poem

so strictly speaking the second line of the third verse fails the definition. Having said that, it works beautifully and that's all that matters in the end.

Esker

Esker

8 years 2 months ago

my play it up of the paradise proxy..

are meant to twine
and have their
fill of love and wine...

august..autumn
love the name autumn
knew an autumn
sweet gentle
survived the storms

ah rula....the hearted
one...

morning...the star
was up...today
a pleasant soft
air..but behind it
the fury is coming
i can sense it
so i enjoy the
beauty of the
calm now...

thank U for this poem

mr wolf!