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A Soul of One of the Damned
I found out of your hidden agendas
because I've been watching you, very carefully
and then, I finally saw your soul!
It was very agitated and went in and out of your body
as if to mock, the very cadence with which I breathed,
which...in turn, very much unsettled myself;
for I was unaware of your growing irritations,
and your tendencies to keep secrets, and share falsehoods.
But, your lies, and misleading ways concerned me not.
For, you're younger, more immature, and should be allowed "fantasies".
What was a bit disconcerting was, your propensity
for convincing yourself into beleiving your personal brand of idiocity!
Then...telling yourself that you were a beacon of integrity,
when in reality, these selected untruths
merely became your "church", and I...your "sacrament"!
Then, as you'd devour me, in prayerful reverance...
you'd also devour your own personal legacy,
for which...there is no absolute redemption!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
lou
13 years 9 months ago
hi
Just want to say good stuff, rythm ,pacing and internal logic worked for me.
Lou
docmaverick
13 years 9 months ago
Thanx, Lou....
...for the input about the "pacing", etc. That kind of feedback is, Invaluable!
Sincerely,
docmaverick.