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Oct 15, 2017
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This poem is part of the contest:
June Contest - Choka - Japanese Poetry - $25 (USD) Amazon Emailed Gift Card
SOUL OF SOLDIER
*Soul of a Soldier*
Do you hear my calls?
Soul of a soldier only guns.
Sound is the rhythm.
Thousands of dead bodies on the street is the party.
War is the dinner and
Victory is our meal.
Eyes have seen much.
Massacres, genocide,
bones and weak skeletons sounding in my heart.
My mind becomes beast.
I'm just human.
Why do I live for war?
Or sign in for death?
But my humble soul is worth it.
Written by: Thinkbig Usman
Designer: Michael Agboola
©Poetrify
2017*Soul of a Soldier*
Do you hear my calls?
Soul of a soldier only guns.
Sound is the rhythm.
Thousands of dead bodies on the street is the party.
War is the dinner and
Victory is our meal.
Eyes have seen much.
Massacres, genocide,
bones and weak skeletons sounding in my heart.
My mind becomes beast.
I'm just human.
Why do I live for war?
Or sign in for death?
But my humble soul is worth it.
Written by: Thinkbig Usman
©Poetrify
2017
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
7 years 5 months ago
My sincere apologies
that your poem has been overlooked for so long, usman.
It's a small thing but did you realise you posted it twice in the same post? Was there a reason for that?
Your poem reads well, it is well crafted and deeply felt. It bravely addresses a subject that few dare speak of.
That last line though, that last line, is deeply challenging and perhaps that is why no-one dared respond.
"But my humble soul is worth it."
That requires expansion, explanation.
Here is my reading of it, I hope it helps you understand how other hear it.
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0gLzxrwM73i