The Sound Of Love

You have written
me countless words
of love
None reached into
my heart like the
sound of your smile
as you whisper my name.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South eastern Connecticut, USA

Comments

Geezer

5 years ago

It is hard...

to critique something so short. [Not that there is anything to criticize]. You have succeeded again, in making the case for minimalistic poetry. LoL I really like the blending in of two senses, to give us the line;
"the sound of your smile". I do hope that we get a bit more of poetry that isn't minimalistic and is a longer story. Please? I love a good story and a little more meat of the bone. What I have gotten so far, has only whetted my appetite. Could I get you to add one word? How about adding [has] to the line; "None [has] reached into..." ~ Geezer.
.

jetz

4 years 12 months ago

Geezer, but...

if I add that word for you, then I have to add one for everyone, and before you know it, POOF, no more
brevity. Jokes aside, I get it. I'm new to these teenie tiny poems. Never cared for them before but they
are quite challenging, and also quite addicting. I hunted up a longer piece, which I will post. Thank you
for your kind words and for showing an interest in my work. Greatly appreciated.
Sue

Rula

5 years ago

Dearest Sue

Unlike our dear Geezer, I'm a fan of brevity. Why should we say much if we can say the same in few words. I have really enjoyed your gem as I always did.

jetz

4 years 12 months ago

Rula, I can always count on you

to bring a smile to my face. Today was no exception. I'm a fan of poetry, all shapes and sizes, just like
people, it takes all kinds . Thank you dear lady.
as always,
Sue

Lavender

5 years ago

The Sound of Love

Hello!
My favorite line: 'the sound of your smile.' I don't even need to read the next line, it is that strong to me. Pretty wonderful.
Thank you,
L

jetz

4 years 12 months ago

Lavender,

Thanks for adding your favorite line. I like that. I happen to like that line too.
Tacky of me to say? Oh well, I amaze myself sometimes when I come up
with the perfect line of the moment. Though I've been at it for years, I'm still
new at this.
Thanks again,
Sue

c lynn brooks

5 years ago

Jetz

I love your title very creative
I as Geezer prefer a little more length. What you have here is interesting

jetz

4 years 12 months ago

c lynn,

Thanks for the read and the comment. "Interesting", hmmmm, I'll take that.
Beats the hell out of it's drivel.
As I told Geezer, I'll be posting something a tad longer. Who knows, you may
ask me for something shorter! :)
Keeps smiling.
Sue